slow down lately lives are moving too fast

A lot has happened since I last updated.

For starters, I got fired. It was a really shitty situation that got hugely blown out of proportion. Basically, in a nut shell, it was because I let my crew watch a movie on my laptop during their break and let this girl we used to work with behind the counter for five minutes. Yep. After four and a half years. I filed a compliant with the labour board because the least they can do is pay me my raises that I didn't get. I felt really frustrated and defeated for a while but I know it's for the best.

It's the end of term, the most stressful time of the year. I had three essays due last month and I was granted extensions because of everything that was going on. I don't really know how well I'm doing in my courses because most of my professors haven't been updating the marks online but I'm not too worried. I have one more essay to write for politics. Then three essays and I'm done.

I've decided not to go to Ireland this summer. The plan was to work full time this month and go at the start of May. But I just sort of stopped thinking about it after I was fired. Yeah, I could have gotten another job but I decided to try to focus on school instead. I just feel like it's not the right time anymore. I want to work a lot and save up money instead of feeling guilty for not earning anything all summer. I'm sure I'll take mini-trips here and there.

On Saturday, I went with Hayley to Phil's, a really gross bar. I only went to see her and our friend Trish because it was her birthday. Before we left she said she didn't want to stay long because Trish's boyfriend Mike beat her up last weekend. Punched her in the nose and she went unconscious after hitting her head from falling back. Oh and did I mention they have a kid together? Just awful. It's hard knowing that she thinks it's okay, it was just a play fight that went too far. She's a really sweet person that deserves nothing but kindness. Turns out that Mike lives with Brandon, the guy from Alberta that I had the most awkward date with back in December. He was there and already pretty drunk. At one point we were standing beside each other and he just kept rambling on about the most pointless things. Hayley noticed that he kept staring at me. After a while we just went outside and never went back. Grabbed some little ceasar's and she slept over. Holy snoring! I was up till like 5 watching White Oleander. I forgot how good that movie is.

I spent most of the weekend with Kris. It was nice. And then to top it off, we had a talk on Tuesday and realized that we like each other. He's my best friend, and I haven't been more comfortable or open with another person before. So I can't really describe how happy I am right now. It's pretty awesome.

The Thrills - Midnight Choir

you think you want more than you need, until you have it all you won't be free

I went to the gym today with Nicole for the first time in about three weeks. We didn't have much of a workout it was more of a catching up sort of thing. On the way home I realized I had an hour and a half left to write my poverty quiz online so I scrambled to get that finished. I managed to pull off an 85%. I have a seven page report due on Tuesday that keep putting off. I got all of my midterms back and I actually did pretty well.
Art: 88%
Poverty: 88%
Politics: 74% (average was 64%!)
Psychopathology: 84%
Lifespan Processes: 85%
Some new stuff that I got. The Buddha Banks were from Nicole for Valentine's day and they're perfect!
I asked my mom today about the money that my grandma saved up for me for school. I was hoping to have some of it for the trip but she was just like "oh that went towards your car!" Kthanx for telling me.
I went to this local vegan store today and it was pretty amazing. I should have gone a long time ago. I also got falalfal mix with pitas and tzatki-like sauce and I'm so excited to make them! I'm pumped to leave mcdonald's. We had a manager's meeting the other day and I guess they're just throwing the concept of healthy out the window. This is what we're getting:

• rid of delis
• ciabatta sandwiches
• cherry shake, pie, sundae
• Angus burger to replace the Big Extra (720-860 calories)
• McRib (gag! once we make them they're 'good' for TWO HOURS)
  
• replacing the smaller ice cream cone with a larger one
• rid of bacon ranch and oriental salads
• Rolo and Kit Kat McFlurries
• Cinnamon Rolls
• iced coffee
  

You heard it here first people! Oh, I almost forgot to mention, that the deli station (as in the toaster, fridge, toaster oven) that they're getting rid of is worth $20,000. I almost choked on my chocolate easter eggs! That could pay for my tuition! And we used it for a whole two years!
I watched Into the Wild a few days ago with Kris and it was absolutely amazing. Everything was exactly right. It fits the mood that I'm feeling lately really perfectly.
Eddie Vedder - Society

i'm so far gone now i've been running on empty

I didn't go to class at all this week. Granted, I only have five but still. I don't really have a good excuse. Evey told me yesterday that she doesn't want to go to Ireland anymore. I was kind of expecting it but it's still a bummer. I just wish she hadn't agreed to it and gotten my hopes up. I think I'll still go. But it's not set in stone. I got my student loan today so that will definitely help if I want to go. As of now I just have to save up for the flight. I also handed in the form to declare my major as social development studies. Little did I know that it's not simply 'declaring' your major but you have to apply for it. Once my marks are in from this term they'll make their decision. To get into the honours program I have to have an overall average of 75% so we'll see. I'm doing well so far, I got in the 80's on all of my midterms. But this month I have all of my assignments due. I should really get started on them soon. Grant and Caitlyn came home this week and I realized how little we all have in common. We're just a group of people that used to work together. We had nothing to talk about except comparing schools (hello, Waterloo wins) and work. It was dull to say the least. And it's weird because when I was drunk on Valentine's and telling all this stuff to Grant (yes, I drank by myself and it was pathetic) he was like "oh you're my best friend so you can tell me stuff." a) we barely ever talk we're not BFF b) when I do tell you stuff you're awkward and don't know what to say.

I don't think I'm in the right mindset to be writing. I think I'll go make nachos and watch Into the Wild.

The Used - Lunacy Fringe

they say you have to have somebody, they say you have to be someone

Last week was my reading week (I mean SPRING BREAK!!!) and I went to North Bay to visit Evey. It was supposed to be a five and a half hour drive but it was more like four with my excessive speeding. Plus I was talking on the phone with Kris and then I realized what an idiot I was. Cops are everywhere and they could have hidden on those intersections in the middle of the highway. It was a really nice drive after Barrie.

Showing off her culinary skillz. All of her room mates had left so it was just the two of us. She goes to Nipissing but she isn't going back next year. I don't think it's her thing.
Our first dinner. There wasn't much pasta it was mostly chicken haha. It was better than it looks.

Why am I so awesome at in the moment pictures?! Here she was trying to explain the concept of beer pong which practically everyone plays there. It's basically the arctic so what else can they do really. Okay, so they all live in these apartment-style residences. There's 6 roomies on two floors, this was taken in her living room. All of the guys' places are really sketch, they're party houses and you have to leave your shoes on because there's puddles of snow and filth everywhere. We went to this one guys house to play beer pong on the last night and these two guys were smoking up in front of us and it was super awkward. The one kept staring at me and when they all tried to get me to drink he was like "ya then you can get wasted and just crash in my bed." Why the fuck do I attract sleezebags lately?
Valentine's Bear from Hallmark. Hallmark = true love <3>
I think this was supposed to be like a bucket for trick or treating but I found it hilarious.

This is the second night at East Side Mario's for her friend's birthday. Gosh I hanging around twenty people I don't know and will never see again.
Mike, a guy that she likes. I love how he's making so much effort to be close with her for the picture.On the drive home. I listened to a bunch of old remix cd's from high school and it was so weird. Half of the stuff was pop-punk (total Eddie influence) but there was some good stuff like Streetlight Manifesto that's really good for screaming when you're driving at 7pm down the 401.

Nada Surf - I Like What You Say

Alright, it's okay, guess it's better to turn this way

My day went pretty well. I went out for lunch with Nicole and Jess to this place downtown called Marbles. It was pretty cute and there were pictures of kids playing with marbles everywhere. We were all wearing a yellow top for some crazy reason and our waitress was like, "so, um, we were all talking.. and just wondering why you're all wearing yellow?" We should have said we were apart of some lame club or something. We had this amazing banana chocolate chip cake for dessert, wow. After we went to the gym and ended up playing squash. We didn't even know how to play it really, and I couldn't take it seriously with the goggles so they didn't last long. Every time we missed or the ball didn't bounce back we would have to do jumping jacks or do shuttle runs. It was my idea to fit 'cardio' in but it wasn't fun near the end let me tell you.

I wrote my poverty exam and got an 88% on it. Pretty psyched about that, except I had to look up all the answers because it was like: "what was the rate of poverty in such and such year". So I'm going to do ridiculously bad on the exam. I have three fucking midterms next week that I have yet to study for! Crap.

I went into work to get my review. Amanda was doing them for the first time and we talked for like an hour. It went really well actually. I was kind of worried because Jess only got a 20 cent raise (mainly because a boss came in and caught her throwing a spitball.. up at the front) but I got 40 cents. Woohoo.. But hey it adds up. She was like, "I'm really happy that you're back! All the crew really like you and respect you. They had all these good things to say about you at the rap session and I was really happy to hear them. They said you were really nice and talkative and worked alongside them." I was practically beaming. Sort of like when Miranda on Grey's got promoted to Chief Resident. Except for the awkward hug. I mean, obviously I'm one of the best swing managers (no, really) but it's nice to hear it once and a while especially when I'm used to hearing all about the negative things.

I've been having pretty bad insomnia lately. Last night I was up until 5:30am and I haven't been to my morning class in a while. Which is bad because he takes attendance. I just finished watching Reign Over Me and wow, completely heartbreaking. Definitely cried. It's probably the best serious Adam Sandler role. It got to the point where I didn't even remember it was him.

The Decemberists - Here I Dreamt I was an Architect

Personally, I've always suspected that everyone else is having a far merrier Christmas than I am.

McDonald's Christmas party at Jack Astor's

The second guy on the left is Alex, the one people think I was engaged to.
Holly is basically a model. It pisses me off how perfect she is!

"It's not my birthday!!"

That's Rick the owner on the right.

Whoa, this caught me off guard in the bathroom.

Christmas presents. For my mom

Mom
Karina & Josh
From Toronto last weekend.

Hayley.

Nicole.
Cookies for Alyson, Peter, Steve and Holly.

In a flash I have my new year's resolution - aim higher.

"Alfie"

waiting and hoping to find what i can't figure out yet

I went to the gym for the first time yesterday with my friend Nicole. She was trying to show me all these exercises and how to work out. I was like "I think everyone is looking and me and laughing" and she said "well, that's because they are!" I felt really pathetic. Some lady who must have been in her 60's at least was totally showing me up. And now today I'm sore all over. Does this happen every time after you work out? Because it really doesn't motivate me to go back again.

Today I wrote my last social psychology midterm. Some of the questions were pretty stupid and I feel like I guessed a lot. But it was the last day of classes! Then I went to pay for my $25 parking ticket and the lady was like do you PROMISE to pay and display? And then she didn't make me pay so I was happy.

Even though I don't talk to him anymore I dream almost every night that we get back together. What's the deal with that?

Straylight Run - Now it's Done

i need some distraction, oh beautiful release

I'm watching City of Angels.They played this song at Tiff's funeral and it's impossible to hear it without thinking of her. I went to Mel's Diner with Kris and Grant last night. Grant had been fighting with Caitlyn over something or other and for a time I was glad to be single and not have to put up with the constant fighting and bickering. Kris and I went out to Old Navy after for their big sale and he bought a ton of clothes. I had a good time. He reminds me of the way Bobbie used to be.

This Christmas is going to be rough. Whenever I watch tv with my Mom it's constantly playing Christmas commercials over and over. With images of the perfect family and the perfect couple. She's been trying to keep herself busy with getting the decorations together but I know it's hard for her. I guess it's better than her lying in bed just thinking about things.

Sarah McLachlan - In the Arms of an Angel

if you're well off, then i'm happysome for you but i'd rather not celebrate my defeat and humiliation here with you

I am SO close to being done with this semester. I'm very excited. I've worked my ass off and I could really use a break. I wrote two papers this week and now my sleeping schedule is all thrown off. Hopefully it'll be worth it. I still have two assignments for social work, a bonus paper for social psych and then three exams to study for. I got an A+ on my social work midterm!

My brother went to his first dance tonight at school. I picked him up and he told me that he was break-dancing and they played 'Kane West' and that 'Soulja Boy song that everybody loves'. Good lord.

I am loving these pj's
My recent purchases! The sweater and shirt are from H&M.

The hat makes me look 5 but I don't care.

The movie is my first present for my friend Rob.

Our as-of-yet undecorated tree.

I can't figure out the night setting on this camera,

I hate how these lights look yellow.

Grumpy Mr. Joe

Poor Allie has an ear infection :(

I started talking to Evey and Bobbie again around the same time, which is odd. I called Evey yesterday because this guy that she had been seeing told her out of the blue that he liked another girl. I feel really bad because it's the first time that she has let herself get close to a guy and that's how he treats her. She said she's glad we're talking now. Bobbie needed help (what a surprise). He could have easily found answers to his university questions by calling them or through a guidance counselor. He was like I know I only go to you for help but... I'm glad that he's finally admitted that but at least he could try and make things right. It's annoying but I'm not going to let myself get caught up in that again.

I still haven't talked to Brandon yet since he's been here. I guess we just aren't online at the same times. And I called East Side Mario's about the job and she was like "I'm just heading off to a meeting to set up an orientation for the people we decide to hire. we're going to call those people later" I love how you tell me you're going to tell me the next day to let me know, and now it's been over a week.

Rilo Kiley - Capturing Moods