A Grimacing Smile

Jessica broke up with Kris yesterday. Which isn't all that surprising after what she told me at lunch. But it must have been a total shock for him. I feel so bad because he's such a nice guy but it was pretty much all about the age difference and how can he help that.

I called her right when I found out. She was on her way to a club and sounded totally fine. I was like umm.. has it not sunk in yet? (Because it always takes ages for stuff to really hit me) and she was like no I cried before and after the phone call then I was fine. Wow, don't I feel pathetic.

Last night I went out to dinner with Hayley. I've known her since grade nine applied french class. I don't really talk to her much. She's going to school in Brantford for her BA and BED. She has eight courses and I don't know how she handles all that plus teaching. She's gone through a lot. In some ways I could relate but most of the time I was just thinking wow.. maybe I don't have it so bad after all.

I started talking to Evey tonight because she was too immature to start. She got all defensive and super pissed off. And I was like hey, if you really were busy and not just ignoring me, you shouldn't be so angry. She said well I'm not going to apologize for being busy. Yes but you should apologize for not responding to me for weeks?! That's just rude. I'm pretty sure she thinks that I'm needy and is freaked out by it. Because in the past when she feels like that with people she just pushes them away. She didn't bother to put herself in my shoes after she and my other close friends had moved away and how I was probably freaking out and missing them. I haven't even told her I have depression. Anyway, I hope I get over it. I guess she has this new life now but it won't be the same when she gets home.